Talk:Shiba Zhijun
In my honest opinion, I enjoyed reading what you got so far. I like the idea of holding somewhat of a grudge for being passed up for a position, I used it for Nanamei, albeit different situation. As always, you detail the article very well. I always enjoy reading what you write because it's clear and makes sense. Because of all the commotion, his presence in the Winter War can fit in just right because the focus was mainly on the Captain's and Ichigo. I can't wait to read what else you have for him, his Zanpakutō sounds interesting in name alone. To top it off, Muttonchops :) --Hohenheim Talk to Me ◕ ‿‿ ◕ 17:03, June 5, 2011 (UTC) Your review, Kou. Alright, here's Orijinaru's review. First one here! (Yaaaaaaaaay XD) As always, you've started out excellently. I'm looking foward to reading Madoka and his fight. Appearance, well, it's good as usual. I like how you've described his past and present looks. I just remembered the reason I do these short reviews is because I can't usually think of much to say other than what's important. Anyway, moving on, good sir. Personality, as usual, I like. Such a drastic change, which is kinda frightening, which is probably the point, am I right? When he's capable of empathizing with an opponent, it would kind of add a somewhat humanizing feel to him, which is good. History, it's great, he tried so hard and his dreams just came crashing down around him ;_;. His equipment's good. Alright, powers and abilities. Good, once again, I must congratulate you on Iaidō, and he's everything that I'd expect from a combatant of his caliber. His Zanpakutō, it's wonderful, it's powerful, it's unique and it has a great drawback. Sorry if this review's short, as it was almost one in the morning where I am when I wrote it. My non-existant hat's off to you, Kou. 10/10, and favorited. PersonaSuperiorDeus 12:43, June 6, 2011 (UTC) Strife's Review As promised, one review that's been long overdue :P You know the format by now, so sit back and enjoy! Intro Slightly longer than some of the intro's you've been punching out lately, but still of the same quality. You've included his past positions and worked them well into the section, his relationship with Yami and how he tends to favor some of his members; his role in the winter war and also what he got up to afterward with a promotion. He starts out as your average dutiful officer with a bright future, though he quickly takes a U turn when he loses out to Madoka in the race for Head-Captaincy. Kinda harsh, but those are the breaks, I guess :P Anyways, that event gave the U turn mentioned above and now he's a vengeful and jealous man who'd go out of his way to destroy said woman who wronged him. Sets up for some interesting future meetings and developments, if you chose to go down that road. His ally is mentioned and the fact he's a like-minded individual and a Quincy to boot serves to interest me in the development of this duo. And his bro's included as well, though there's one thing you've overlooked. In the intro you've said he's younger, while in the template infobox you've said he's older. Just a slight inconsistency you probably just forgot about. Appearance His appearance is broken up into two sections - past and present, which is a very good idea when you've expanded upon his history and background. Gives the reader a means to view what he was like when he was busy fighting Menos and Reiryoku wolves. You've included the points about his build and clothing well, mentioning and ensuring they flow from point to point well. Makes it easier to read 'cause you haven't simply gone "Shiba wears this. Shiba has such and such color of hair. Shiba this. Shiba that." You get the picture. The way you've written it makes it easier and more enjoyable to read, and you've wasted no words. Kept everything sweet and to the point. His present appearance could be interpreted in a way to signal his defection. With no higher-ups to please, why should he bother keeping his clothing in top condition, though you've offset it with the clean-shaved finish. Overall, you've included everything that needs to be included - his build, hair and eye color, past appearance and present appearance. You've kept the info concise and to the point, but balanced it with a detailed account and a flowing script. Nicely done, pal :P Personality I've noticed a trend from reviewing your work. You tend to make the first paragraph about what they were like, the second about how they are now and the final about a battlefield persona. Its quite the neat little seat-up and gives you guidelines to follow when your making your characters. The first paragraph makes him appear, as I've said above, your dutiful Shinigami with a kind and caring heart. Kinda shows just how different he is from his elder brother. While Maki was living in the gutters battling his way through the Rukon District, Shiba was out helping the poor. Shiba's humble, utterly selfless and unaffected by the allures of position, at least at this early stage. All that changes when... ... bad Yamamoto! This guys basically taken a complete 360 personality somersault. Instead if being humble, he's boastful and, one could argue, quite arrogant. The changes are actually quite similar to those experienced by Maki. Maki grew up with much the same mindset, as it was essentially kill or be killed. He had no qualms, as Shiba's current personality also experiences. Looking at it now I can't help but draw the conclusion that Maki's later life mirrors Shiba's early life, while Maki's early life mirrors Shiba's later. Quite the interesting development and perfectly justified, considering their blood relation. Anyways, onto the final paragraph. He's cruel and a little bit of a psycho. Amazing how being denied a single position could alter someone this much, though maybe old man Yami had greater foresight than we give the old fart credit for? Regardless, this part serves to further drive home his newfound persona and mindset. The section overall is written with the same detail you give all your sections and the points flow as well. History This I'll break into the various different sections. Think of it as a mini review within the review :P Early Life His academy days, rise through the ranks and humble attitude; as well as unbiased or indiscriminate tendencies further my above points that, at that time at least, all he wanted was to be a dutiful Shinigami. The history is in line with his personality, which is always a good thing. You've explained his skills ins swordsmanship, and also his lack of it in Kidō; exemplified through the tests given. One thing I did pick out was that he was in the twelfth division, yet he was the lieutenant. If your going with the caon timeline, Hiyori was was already lieutenant when Urahara took over - so unless she was fired, it would be impossible for Shiba to hold that position, Kou. Anyways, that's the only complaint I have. Winter War His successes were numerous yet had little real impact, eh? He fought off the Gillian and was rewarded for his efforts with the death of many of his friends. Harsh event, but in war, a necessary one. You've kept quite close to the actual canon storyline with this account. He was working behind the scenes, and since the majority of Kensei's fight with Wonderweiss went unseen, you could easily slot your character in without much trouble. The sections short but well written and gives a good idea of what he was doing. You might wanna mention something about Starks Reiryoku wolves though, since you've mentioned it farther up the page. After the War And we hit the point he takes the somersault :P Here we have someone who can finally match the impressive efforts Shiba puts forth, and in the beginning its simple rivalry. But rivalry can easily turn to jealously and then even loathing, which is very much the case here it seems. Having had some history with Yamamoto, not to mention being favored by him, Shiba would have nothing short of gutted when Madoka was named his successor. You've worked that factor in quite well, made quite clear by the fact he needed to exile himself out of sheer outrage. But he still shows a degree of respect and perhaps the friendship the two would've developed during their rivalry - he didn't want to kill her then, hence his exile and disappearance. His plans for the now have been left pretty much open for speculation, which is a good thing. Let the readers draw their own conclusions, and its a good thing he's learned about Maki as well. If he continues his descent into darkness, Maki might need to step forward and knock some sense into his sibling :P Powers and Abilities Spiritual Energy: You've worked the lack of control the vast label tends to bring. Its pretty sad, really. Some people tend to use 'cause it belongs to Ichigo and they think its higher than immense. Anyways, you've focused a lot on his control and I would have said it would be better labelled as immense until I read the final part about how hes basically disregarded everything he was ever taught about control. Controlling ones energy instead of letting it spill out is important. Look at my own Shinrei Kurosaki and you'll see just how much his lack of control damages his power. Swordsmanship: I'd argue about him being the worst Kidō user ever. My own Kusaka at that time could barely string you an incantation, never mind fire the bloody thing :P Anyways, I'd recommend labeling this simply as a master. Grandmaster is when the skill is such that you don't need to readily rely on other forms of combat. He focuses mainly on iaidō and also prefers Hakuda when sealed. Not exactly prevalent use of the sword and all its forms, pal. But he's skilled enough to use such a difficult form in the first place, 'cause it not only requires skill, but also movement and speed to work yourself into the positions needed for the drawing strike. You might wanna mention something about footwork, now that I'm thinking. Hakuda: His skills have declined, but are still quite impressive to note. Being fit to battle foes of that caliber, not to mention size in terms of the Gillian is quite impressive. You've worked the points well and each one flows well. I've nothing more to say, 'cause I reckon you've hit it spot on with the labeling and the descriptions. Shunpo: Oh, now this part I liked. You linked in average raw speed and then explained how he becomes faster with Shunpo. Haven't saw that done outside my own Riki in quite a while, to be honest. The fact he can keep pace with arguably two of the fastest Captains of that era is a good indication of his prowess, and does more than long paragraphs explaining it could ever do. Nicely done, pal. Zanpakutō Now this looks familiar :P He can basically blow you to kingdom come with little trouble and makes it look good at the same time. Much like the man who inspired the idea. You've also given it quite the realistic weakness - he needs to touch said object to create said flashy BOOM! While that would hardly be a problem for someone of his impressive speed and iaidō skill, it could still prove difficult if the enemy figured out the setup. The descriptions of the swords sealed, release and powers are solid and give the reader everything they need to picture the zanpakutō and its powers in use. And am I surprised he doesn't have a Bankai? Not in the slightest :P Secondary Zanpakutō I already gave my views on this in an earlier message, so I'll keep this short. The extending qualities that Tenkō grants him would make him quite the terror at any range, though I reckon he could use it to devastating degrees when utilized alongside his iaidō skills. Imagine simply drawing the sword for it to extend and lob your foes head off before they were even aware of said motion? What I also found neat is that he lends it to his Quincy friend in times of need, making it kind of pass-the-parcel time! In all seriousness though, nicely done, Kou. Overall Okay, one review punched out and finished! Overall, the descriptions are good and the points flow well. You've listed the changes he goes through quite well with a focus on that change in the history section that serves to make it more worth your while noting. The inclusion of the two zanpakutō is always an idea I like to see in an article, 'cause its always interesting if done right and not overpowered to hight heaven. You've hit a nice balance which doesn't scream "I'm amazing with lots of abilities". The abilities included are simple but deadly effective, and the iaidō inclusion is neat and well included; which in itself adds more flair. Overall, I'm gibing it a 9/10 'cause you've included the history, linked the sections well and more importantly backed them up; you've kept his zanpakutō simple yet effective and most importantly of all, its well written and put together, with great organization. Nicely done Kou, and sorry for the time it took to get around to this. Kenji-Taichō (Talk) 11:47, June 16, 2011 (UTC) N's Review Introduction I don't have much to say here except for the fact that you've compressed the introduction into an acceptable length; provided several good points on his former status and his time with the 1st Division - I also "squeel" at the fact that he has so many humane qualities such as jealousy - as jealousy is the single rarest state of mind on this wikia, and I'm amazed that you've decided to add one of those! Great job describing his desire for vengeance and his personal grudge as well, really neat! You've thus provided him with a good "point of focus" and I probably would've read more even if I wasn't going to review him. Appearance There isn't much to say at this section other than the fact that you've put just about as effort as is expected of you Kou: You've put as always a great deal of detail into his clothing and his general appearance, I was especially pleased with the fact that you took time to describe his hair and his facial hair in such great detail as well - very few actually bother to do such, relying rather on their given picture. You've described well how his overall appearance has become more "shaggy" since he left Soul Society and follows it up with further in-depth information, that serves to further allude to his status as a Rogue Shinigami, neat. Personality Ahh, the Personality section at last; and this is where you really shine Kou; I know few if any who can conjure up as good and consistant personalities like you, I won't say more than that though as I'll work on Shiba's personality from here on: Shiba starts out pretty much like Fuuma, he's the kindest guy in the world til something bad happens - though as opposed to Fuma who was driven mad over a great personal tragedy, Shiba is simply driven over the edge by his own jealosy and pride, while this is good and great I feel that his "I will kill everyone" kind of attitude is quite exagerrated and doesn't quite fit with the jealousy and pride concept. Henceforth, I suggest the following that Shiba, rather than becoming "pure evil" simply becomes much colder and impassionate about most things and that his defection was due to the fact that he, upon hearing the Captain-Commanders will proceeded to scream in rage and attack Madoka, whereafter he was quickly apprehended, publically humiliated and exiled in shame, that sounds abit more of a reasonable development in my book and it too would perfectly justify his hatred and vendetta towards Soul Society. I also miss a "personal" part as you don't go to lengths to describe his actual personality other than him being a cruel, conceited bastard - by "personal" section I mean traits like you those recently added to Naisho; while Shiba doesn't need to be Bisexual or Gay (although I think that it could admittingly have been quite interesting) I still miss such information nevertheless, as these "easter eggs" are usually the best: Basically, I want you to reveal more aspects of his mind, desires and habits, perhaps even fears and doupts? History, Synopsis I don't review history sections normally but it is both interesting and flows very well with his personality, appearance and pretty much everything else of his Character, which is what it should do - similarily I won't review the Synopsis section either. Equipment Both of the items are neat, but none of them seem to leave any lasting impression except for the Sheath, due to the fact that he carries it around like Ikkaku does; I don't have a lot more to say at this point. The mask actually, on a deeper note is actually a very useful item, remind me to get a few of those for the Juusanseiza members! :P Powers & Abilities Spiritual Power: This should have been Immense as opposed to Vast; the difference between these two are often misinterpreted, but they are in fact the exact same thing and of the exact level of power - only that Vast Energy is very poorly controlled, whereas Immense is very finely controlled and manipulated; It makes sense that he's at this level though and he does seem to have been granted more than his share of Spiritual Power as well - which easily explains his former high-ranking position. Master Swordsman: You've made him a Masterful Swordsman, which is quite to be expected of a Captain-Level opponent, you've also added the fact that he has no talent for Kido at all, let me first say that this gives you alot of free ground as without Kido he could easily have other very powerful abilities without him being overpowered (removing Kido takes away ALOT of a Shinigami's arsenal) - I can clearly see this guy being about as skilled as Kenpachi in some areas of this field and due to the fact that his Zanpakuto is a Nodachi I find it highly plausible that he should have Great/Immense Strength as well, as those weapons are darn heavy, you should also concider him weilding the weapon one-handed in battle, as that is pure badass! *'Iaido': This feat alone serves to make him incredibly dangerous in combat as Iaido is so fast that it when used by a character of Shiba's caliber would in all likelihood be invisible and undetectable - everything they would see would be him grasping the hilt of his weapon; unknowing that it is in fact too late too react (before they fall to the ground in several seperate pieces that is). Hakuda: You've only made him an expert despite the fact that you could easily have made him a master without him being overpowered; removing Kido gives you THAT much of free space to add abiliities to - and he could furthermore have been capable of using Ikkotsu and Sokotsu for the same reasons, I think you should do so in fact; no need to "underpower" your character either :P Shunpo: Yup, this guy is really fast; though due to the fact that he prefers not to use these abilities it doesn't really serve him too well; I'm abit confused as if he's somewhere between Byakuya and Soifon in speed, or wether he's on par with one of them; you should probably expand more upon that. Stats Offense & Defense: Nothing to state here, although you should concider upping Defense with ten points or so. Speed: This is too high, 100 would effectively put him on par with Yoruichi speed-wise, which he is not; Byakuya and Soifon would be 90 and 95 respectively; you should probably change it to one of those: likely Byakuya-level given the fact that since he uses his speed quite rarely he'd be bound to be abit rusty in its usage, no? Kidō/Reiatsu: Should be upped to 80 due to the fact that 80+ is what is concidered Vast/Immense; but I otherwise agree with it. Intelligence: You've not put too much focus on it so I can neither argue nor agree here. Stamina: This is quite odd given how you've not given him either Immense Endurance nor Immense Durability, so I suggest you do so - would also serve to balance him quite abit. Zanpakuto Pair First Whoo, that Zanpakuto is really long, which makes it fit very well together with his Iaido, you've also put detail into its appearance which is always appreciated by people like me; it should however not be in a constant release state as that is illogical given how impressive his control over his own Spiritual Power is; constant release is not something one would let happen intentionally given how it drains ones Spiritual Power so quickly; and PLEASE use capital letters while writing the translation of the Zanpakuto's name; small-case letters look so ugly! The ability of the Zanpakuto is really neat, and I'm quite certain you've gotten quite some inspiration from Gambit (I found out later that you actually HAD gotten inspiration :P); as their abilities are indeed very similiar - the ability is original and versatile as well as he can combine it with his Swordsmanship for devastating effects and he'd easily be fit to rupture earth and his sorroundings as well as crushing his opponents with even the weakest of blows, combined with his Iaido he could even devastate large areas in the blink of an eye; which would be quite the cool trick might I add - and also very hard to block and avoid! Second I don't have much to say here except for the fact that it is a weaker form of Shinso, but it fits its purpose I guess? Overall Alright, while this review ain't as good as I had hoped it would be I've pretty much covered most of the facts here; Shiba is a very interesting character whom I would no doubt have enjoyed roleplaying with - though I think you should empower him abit as he has currently too many weaknesses as opposed to abilities which makes him rather unbalanced, in the way that he's somewhat underpowered! Master N 17:23, June 17, 2011 (UTC)